Guest writer and self proclaimed "chocolate-fiend" Richard has written this love letter to one of his favorite seasonal treats...enjoy!
To the half-wits who sang "I wish it could be Christmas everyday" I
say this, "Why would you deprive yourselves of Cadbury's Creme Eggs?"
In this nasty world someone in a lab coat at Cadburyland has your back.
Whoever crafted this fiendish confectionery deserves the kind of
praise usually reserved for the guy who said "And this machine cuts
the loaf into manageable slices"
So. You've bought a case of eggs. Well Done. Put them in the
refrigerator. You'll thank me when the outer wrapper comes off
easier. You don't want silvery bits under your nails, or worse still
chunks of foil zapping your fillings.
You now have an undressed refrigerated Cadbury's Creme Egg.
Then ... gnaw.
That's right, gnaw like an actual (?) Easter Bunny at the
surprisingly dense chocolately part at the top of the egg. You see,
chocolate engineers (yes they exist) will try to impress you with
stories of gigantic leaps in technology in the shaping of chocolate
on the production line, but trust me on this one, the top of the egg
is thicker.
Finally like a buck-toothed sugar-loving Jim Morrison you will break
on through to the other side. Congratulations, you have reached the
white and yellow inner goo. My choice here? Pucker up and suck that
yolk clean out. When you see the calories in one of these babies
you're going to be glad of the facial exercise.
You can expect some outer chocolate damage along the way, so as you
finish up the inner delights you should be left with about two-thirds
of the outer egg. What next? Simple, shove your tongue in there and
bring the egg into your mouth like a frog eating a bug. Sadly the
poor frog will never enjoy the pure sensation of milk chocolate
melting into the wells of your mouth, but hey they're holding out for
a woman to release their inner prince.
Have fun.
